He is our strength..

Ashlie

Lord i pray that you would provide for kelliana..for her health..her work situation..i pray everything would go smoothly.i pray that you would be with her holy spirit, and that you would give her the peace that surpasses all understanding

i pray she trust in you for your plan is unfailing

make a way for her and guide her path

i pray that she would learn and be strengthened by whatever you put in her path

you allow trials for us to learn, to persevere, to grow us, and to build character

i pray against anything not of you Jesus

in your name Lord.

 

I’ve got some good friends here in the great salt lake..

Dear Salt Lake City, the power’s that be, the man upstairs, and anyone else who cares to listen,

If all these event’s are my karmatic penance for any turmoil in the universe that I have caused, I’m sorry.

I would like to retract any bad doings I have done, and apologize in hopes that you will cut me a break, or throw me a freaking bone.

I am fully aware that today’s series of unfortunate events is really MY fault for not being proactive in the last few years as far as my health goes, BUT really…RIGHT NOW?

So yes, I take the responsibility, and YES I know this is my consequence. At this point though, I am just wondering what else could possibly fall apart at my fingertips? It seems that everything I do touch…breaks…anything I love…falls apart, or forgets about me…

In conclusion…moving here was a mistake. I should have turned around when I had a chance..

twice, i turned my back on you.

I really wonder, why we are always so distrusting of people we call our friends. We are willing to solicit information to perfect strangers, aka via the world wide web, but we may not be willing to share a word with a close friend.
Often I feel like, I couldn't tell a soul how I really am feeling with out them freaking out, and coming to the round about conclusion that I am after all...CRAZY.
More and more I am realizing I am not crazy at all, just another body in this sea of emotion, feeling every end of the spectrum that this emotional gauge can offer.
So bring this shit on...
I wouldn't trade anyone of the feelings I have felt in the last 6 months.
They are real, concrete. They come with meaning, with merit...with worth.
And so do i..

"You deserve to be happy, you really are a great person. You just need to see it."

I feel like every lyricist, or writer writes about the time when someone finally validated them. Told them exactly what they had been dying for that person to tell them. Maybe it happened in an instant, but it seems like it is usually years down the line when we finally realize how much we appreciate someone. It usually comes unexpected, when we have completely forgotten about the impact the individual had on our lives. When we have finally moved on from that particular part of our lives.
As per the advice of someone who's opinion I have valued for years, I am gonna live in the light. Let my guard down, let life happen. Stop putting everything on hold, in hopes that the pause might create some kind of clarity. I deserve to be happy, I truly am great.
I think once we distance ourselves enough from heartbreak and turmoil. The pain seems to diminish. If we focus on the moments, we realize that life truly is great and we really can be happy.
Thanks PJ...I think I am seeing from your perspective..

Something to hold on to..

I feel so grateful to have met the people I have met here in SLC.
I feel so fortunate to say, that I truly have a strong network of friends, I know would be there for me...thick or thin.
It's easy to get caught up and the day to day, and forget how lucky you are.
I am trying to just live in this very moment. It really feels so good to be here.
What's the point of living in the past...it's completely out of my control at this point.
And as far as dwelling on what might happen in the future.. I have to be the one to take the control...
This is my destiny.
No one can change it but me.

jet boy anthology

So tonight, I thought it would be a really GREAT idea, to redecorate. You know, move stuff around...make it look new. Apparently I just DONT possess the decorating bug. Because...now I am tired, and it looks like a bunch of movers put stuff in a weird spot...DAMMIT. at least i know now that decorating is not my strength.

SHOOT!!

I remember my Mom telling me, that love doesn’t hurt. It really shouldn’t make you cry.

I don’t want to be put in the situation to see people that make me think of him. I don’t want to have to pretend like seeing them is okay.