I keep listening to this She and Him song, over and over again. And even when it's not playing, I can hear it as I go about my daily routine. My heart is swelling in my chest, and I can feel that old knot in my throat. Just as my eyes start to burn, I realize I just need to shake it off. Then, I began to look around every corner of this place, every part that holds all the pieces of him, of me, of me and him. As the shoes on the floor, and the pictures on the wall haunt me, I can't shake it off. I don't know that I'm ready for all of this.
I keep asking myself, where did I go wrong? How did I let this all spiral so far out of my control? But, now I've realized something really BIG...it is truly impossible to control every aspect of your life, and furthermore any aspect of someone else's. There's that old saying, if you love someone let them go. I say, if you love yourself, let yourself free.
Now, I just need time. Time to sit here, and think, think, think. Shed a few more tears, fall down, but ultimately pick myself back up again. It's hard when you feel like you can't let go, but even harder when you're not ready for it. Are we ever truly ready to give up something, or someone that we believe completes us?
Tomorrow, is a brand new day. A new chance for me to remember exactly how I got here. Exactly why I don't wanna be here anymore. Love doesn't conquer everything, and time may never heal the wounds.
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