How can I love, when I'm afraid?

It's true what they say, Mother knows best. My Mom always seems to find the words to calm my spirit, and put ease on my heart.
Her wise words tonight, put me one step closer. To what? I have no idea. I believe, I can find what I am looking for if I keep my eyes wide open.
Maybe all these years, I have been distracted. I've been distracted by the fear or the unknown. It's forced me to keep my eyes shut. How many times have I passed the path I was meant to be on? I am not letting my best life pass me by anymore...
I am here, and I am ready to start this journey. No fear, no regret. Letting love surround me in all corners...I really have the best support system in the world.

If you don't love yourself, how the hell can you love someone else?

sometimes the hardest thing, and the right thing are the same

Lately, I've wished I could be invisible. I've wished that I could go back to my normal routine, and forget everything that lay in the past. What is it about me, that I can't seem to set free my mind when it is in such turmoil? Why must I dwell so much? When will I see the light...
I keep telling myself, that I have seen that light at the end of the tunnel. I remember that last time I saw it so clearly, maybe that's what scary, I know it wasn't easy. I'm standing in the middle of the same room, unable to move, as it spins around me at a rapid speed. There's a constant knot in my throat, burning in my eyes, quiver in my lips. I know
I am, but I am trying to remember who I was--alone.
Mostly, I am terrified. Scared of the journey that lies ahead of me, scared to watch someone I care about so deeply turn away for me. Loving someone still, when they don't love you anymore. I wish I could turn it off, I will get there...with time, I just wish it was right now.

Highway of Endless Dreams

7 AM dusty road...I'm gonna drive til it burns my bones...

I need to go on a drive, I need to clear my head...everything is so out of place, and cluttered.

As each empty miles reads on your speedometer, the road seems eternally endless. Full of curves, and obstacles, but always promising for you never know what is around the corner.

Where do you go from here?

Isn't it funny, that just when you feel like your life is on a high note. Something has to go and knock you down?

now is all we have

I have lost focus of the NOW. Continuously dwelling in the ego driven world of the past, and present. Trying to take grip of the future, when I have no control and am not conscious of the present. I need to get back to the ground, stay anchored, be the moment, be the now... ACCEPT WHAT IS.

Here are some things I am trying to REMEMBER...

ACCEPT WHAT IS

Through forgiveness which means recognizing the insubstantiality of the past and allowing the present moment to be AS IT IS.

When you are fully conscious, drama does NOT come into your life.

Relinquish all judgement

Wherever you are, be there TOTALLY.

Are you polluting the world, or cleaning up the mess?

THE PRESENT MOMENT IS ALL YOU EVER HAVE.
TRANSFORM YOUR THINKING.

-I am excited to get back in touch with my being, and re-live my life in the now-

FASHION

Follow my Fashion/Music Blog @ Gildeddoe.blogspot.com

i am here, now.

It's April, and it's still snowing here in SLC. It's not sticking to the ground, but the flakes are giant, and making the outside look more intimidating than it actually is. It was this time last year, that I finally felt whole again. Looking back to it now, it seems impossible that I could have been in a place of such heavy sorrow.
I have this incredible passion for living in the moment. I have never been in this place before. The worry, and the doubt tend to fade away when I am here. There's no sense of knowing what is to come, or no sense of desire for that feeling either. I have begun to wonder if not worrying about the future is my new scapegoat. Does it make me seem irresponsible and flighty to those around me? I don't know, but I do know that I feel more alive than ever. Mending the broken pieces of my mind here and there, filling in the holes where I once doubted everything I did, living in the moments, living...breathing...for the first time, every time.
Here I go, continuing on this path of a twenty-something year old girl, emptying my baggage of the past, to find that a whole new tenacity for the moment.

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