Dream on Little Dreamer

There had been a point a few months ago, where I could not see my future in front of me. My dreams seemed so far out of my reach. It became apparent to me that I wasn't on the path of my dreams, and at that point I had to find a way to make a change. I continually make improvements on my life, if it's not going the way I want it to...I address the challenge and seize it. This challenge seemed different. I had been placed into a position and a place where I never felt like I fit. It wasn't that I was not capable of the task at hand, I just wasn't in LOVE with doing it.

After making this observation, I had to ask myself. What makes me come alive? What do I LOVE doing? I had always known, it was no question. I have pursuing the same dream for the last 9 years, and I had taken any possible career advancement that I thought would make me a better candidate for this position.

At first, I felt discouraged...I felt like I had possibly wasted a lot of time on the wrong path.

I had been listening to a lot of podcasts, from churches all over the US. And the same message from God kept coming to me. I had never before been able to truly release my heart and my bondage to Him.  He asked me to give all of my worries to Him, and for the first time ever...I did. I was restored with strength, with favor, with the power of His will. I put all my power in His word, and began to pray more than I ever had in my life. I asked Him to show me, I asked Him to give me grace in these tough times. I kept hearing the message that He had big plans for me, and I needed to trust Him.

So, I put all my trust in His plan for my life.

What I've realized in the last few months is this...all these mis-steps have prepared me to be the "best" candidate. God never makes mistakes in our life, He's always doing work in our lives. He restored my vision, and I finally saw myself as the person I had dreamt of. Through prayer I realized, that I had to believe that I could be who ever I wanted to become, because He put that dream and vision in my heart. I put my vision in front of me, and I'm pursuing it to the ends of the earth...

I had only dreamt that my dreams were with in my reach, and now they're right in front of me...

FOLLOW YOUR BLISS

"I toured the light; so many foreign roads for Emma, forever ago."

Poignant at times and utterly chaotic at the others, we find ourselves tearing through the pages of life. Frantically we are writing our story, unknowing of what may be on the next page. The unknown, can be terrifying. It can send us into an emotional tailspin, ripping out chapters we have finished...forcing us to rewrite them again.

 Sometimes we are forced to relive an experience, until we fully conquer it. I can stand here today finishing this last chapter and say...I've conquered what I did not before understand. I feel alive--truly. A feeling, I can't say I recognized before. This is exactly the best life, I had imagined for myself, and damn...it's been a journey getting here.

The people a long the way, that have graced the pages of this chapter of my life...will have a profound effect on this next chapter that I am getting ready to embark on.

All the pain, makes sense. All the self loathing, the jealousy, the endless quirks of my ever evolving personality, well it's just that...a work in progress. I have learned, that to love you must love yourself. I do--I know it.

 The girl, I was...she was amazing too. She is the reason, I am where I am today. She fought for me. As I write her story, and bring it to an end...I know that each element of my life, has purpose for where I end up. So I look to the light, remember that even when it feels so bad...it will soon make sense...and it's all for a greater good.

Here's to my early and mid twenties!! I can officially find peace in saying...I know who I am, and I am ready to let her shine. May this next chapter be as enlightening as all the ones the prefaced it...