I don't know what this feeling is that I get in my chest sometimes. It makes me feel like someone was spinning me around, and around on a tire swing...and I got off and stood up. It's the way I felt when my world came crashing down around me last January.
I know I shouldn't let the fear of getting hurt, stop me from moving on. In fact, I feel like I am moved on. It's just knowing that there might be a possibility that I might have to experience that pain again, that frightens me. I am just NOT interested in EVER feeling that way again. I want my heart to be open to the idea of new possibilities, but now I am just so doubtful that it is a good idea for me. Though I have moved mountains as far as my healing goes in the last few months, I am not so sure that I am quite done yet. Maybe, this experience is part of that process.
I am more aware after the last year, what my flaws are, and I am embracing them, and trying to fix or adjust them when needed. I know how amazing I am, and everything that I have to offer.
As much as I try to convince myself that I can engage in the casual fling, or whatever I realize that I can't. It takes far to much for me to invest the time in getting to know someone, especially on an emotional level....
In short...I am so confused right now, can you tell?
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