I will remember your face, because I am still in love with that place

I kept telling myself, there's nothing wrong with me. I kept wondering how I could learn from the situation. Reflecting, trying daily to be better.

Today I realized, I was better, there was nothing wrong with me, and whatever I had to learn...I already had.

It's funny how you can still be in love with a place in your life, and at the same time realize the love that still lingers in your heart, is attached to the sentiment in those moments. The past is always so good at making us forget how we ended up--here.

Most days, I know I still could fall in love with you a million times...unfortunately I've just learned to love myself more.

"When the stars are the only thing we share, will you be there? I've got a plan, I've got an atlas in my hands. I'm gonna turn, gonna listen to the lessons that I've learned."

"I toured the light; so many foreign roads for Emma, forever ago."

Poignant at times and utterly chaotic at the others, we find ourselves tearing through the pages of life. Frantically we are writing our story, unknowing of what may be on the next page. The unknown, can be terrifying. It can send us into an emotional tailspin, ripping out chapters we have finished...forcing us to rewrite them again.

 Sometimes we are forced to relive an experience, until we fully conquer it. I can stand here today finishing this last chapter and say...I've conquered what I did not before understand. I feel alive--truly. A feeling, I can't say I recognized before. This is exactly the best life, I had imagined for myself, and damn...it's been a journey getting here.

The people a long the way, that have graced the pages of this chapter of my life...will have a profound effect on this next chapter that I am getting ready to embark on.

All the pain, makes sense. All the self loathing, the jealousy, the endless quirks of my ever evolving personality, well it's just that...a work in progress. I have learned, that to love you must love yourself. I do--I know it.

 The girl, I was...she was amazing too. She is the reason, I am where I am today. She fought for me. As I write her story, and bring it to an end...I know that each element of my life, has purpose for where I end up. So I look to the light, remember that even when it feels so bad...it will soon make sense...and it's all for a greater good.

Here's to my early and mid twenties!! I can officially find peace in saying...I know who I am, and I am ready to let her shine. May this next chapter be as enlightening as all the ones the prefaced it...