I still can't believe it..

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/idahostatesman/obituary.aspx?n=danielle-vacca&pid=146837042&fhid=6417

Dani we love you <3

Dani...rest peacefully my beautiful friend..

Today seemed so surreal. I could hear the words Janelle was saying to me through the phone, and it was like everything stopped moving.


When I moved to Salt Lake City last September, my heart was only half here. I remember starting my first day at the MAC counter, and just thinking to myself, what had I gotten myself into? As my first few days passed, everyone kept buzzing about this girl Dani. I was anxious to meet her, and when I did she was everything they said she was, and more. I saw this beautiful statue of a girl standing before me, with the sweetest eyes.

I knew from that moment on, that she was someone who I would hold near and dear to my heart forever.

I remember when I found out that she was only twenty, I was so taken a back by it. She was wise beyond her years, and had such compassion and conviction in the things she talked about. Even though I was Dani's manager she was someone I really looked up to, and looked to when it came to finding my creative spark on a lot of days when I was just wasn’t finding it. Dani was such a light in my life in this past year. She made me have a reason to come to work, and I looked forward to every day that I worked with her. It was seeing that wide grin looking at me, wrapping her arms around me when I needed them, that made me love coming to work. I remember scheduling her with me intentionally because she lifted me up so much.

Dani could command the presence in a room, there was something about her that made you want to stop, look, and listen. She was beautiful, inside and out.

I sit here now, and I can't wrap my heard around the idea of her being gone. I know she is doing her rendition of Bad Romance right now...I love you my sweet girl...rest peacefully, look after us, we need you now more than ever..

LOVE YOU SO MUCH..DANIELLE VACCA...GURRRRRRRRL

FOR DANI

power of now

Isn't life amazing, when you realize the power of the moment you are living in?
All the other stuff just falls away...
the worry...
the doubt..
the regret...
it all fades away. GONE.

Everything from the clouds in the sky, to the feeling it feels when your feet meticulously touch the ground...become significant...those moments are invaluable, and I wouldn't want to lose any of them by dwelling on the things in my life that I have NO control over.

Life is amazing. My friends are beautiful. The world around me is alive and moving...and I am moving forward. I am me, and I am here...NOW.

I want a house, built with old wood

Yesterday morning, I woke up to this. In beautiful Park City, Utah. Surrounded by people that I absolutely love. My heart feels so full...I love NOW. Living in the NOW, is treating me well.
Salt Lake has blessed me with the most amazing group of friends, I could ever dream of. I am so lucky. Even though at times this year has been so dark, they have been the light at the end of the tunnel...
As I continue on this journey, I am learning more and more about myself. Kelliana...I will find you.

and when i reach into myself my past comes true

Sadness..is better left forgotten.
As for the months in 2010 that my mind has blocked out, I guess...I have to be thankful. I'd love to reflect on the months of suffering, but that would just distract me from the NOW.
It's a new dawn, a new day.
I am here, all on my own, and I couldn't be more exhiliarated.

WHO IS KELLIANA...I honestly don't know, but I sure as hell am going to find out..

I don't need you.

You're back.
When I try to sleep, I can't sleep. You're always so nice there, in my dreams. This time, I lost you...I was searching so hard to find you. I think this means, I know I lost me, and I've been searching really hard to find me. I don't need you to be me, she's been locked in here all along...
This new version, is better than you could have ever imagined. Better than I ever imagined really. I don't feel the slightest bit insecure about who I am...this is what I have wanted all along, it just took you breaking my heart to get there..

dear salt lake, i get BORED.

hurricane K

Some days, I just don't want to get up. I could lay there in my room, in the dark for all eternity. Today was one of those days. I keep wondering, what is wrong with me? Just when I think, I am getting better...reality has a way of reminding me of itself.
How could my heart still be this broken? How come everything around me never seems to settle into place?
I feel like a tropical strom that just got reclassified into a hurricane...here comes destruction..

dye it blonde

  Smith Westerns - Weekend by forcefieldpr

can't stop listening to this <3 way to go boys!

give me a second, and i'll tell you.

You linger there. On my tongue. In the back corners of my mind. Hanging on my weaknesses, bringing them to light. Some nights, I close my eyes, and you are there. Haunting. Taunting. Throwing it all back in my face. Life has a funny way of reminding me, that I am almost there, but not quite yet.

Cutting the cord, was never easy. I guess it's not completely detached yet.