I work. I get back to this place. To these walls. To this darkness. My arms hang heavy, my heart hangs heavier. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to get out of here. I thought I was getting better. Than, for whatever reason this last week hit me like a ton of bricks.
I feel that urge again. To run away. But there's nothing to run away from here. I've got it the best I've ever had it. My career is taking off. But these feelings inside me, are causing me turmoil. I can feel that constant knot in my throat. I can't even talk about it without choking up.
I just want to run...
the farthest away I can get. Where no one knows. Where I can start over. Just like I wanted to before. You kept your grip so tight on me. I learned to love you without boundaries. With endless devotion. I've never loved so deeply. I never wanted to spend my life with someone. You were that first for me.
I never want to let those feelings go.
bah...time to rethink. time to let go. time to let the candle finally burn out. i could keep it lit for you...but you snuffed me out months ago.
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